The selector’s editorial team works independently on reviewing financial products and writing articles that we think our readers will find useful. We may receive a commission when you click on the product links of our affiliate partners.
My marriage was one of many pandemic divorces. I don’t have to go into the details of the relationship reasons but, as far as finances are concerned, I am happy to speak in detail.
We separated in mid-June, and the divorce ended in late November. Now that I am announcing six months since my divorce became official, I can say – proudly and with great relief – that I feel financially stable.
Here’s how I got there and how I handled some of the great things I shared with my ex.
Contents
House
Our biggest common property was our house. Neither my ex nor I wanted to keep it. She was too big and had too much personal past. So in the summer of 2020, just after we separated, my then-husband and I worked together on the last goal.
We invested about $ 15,000 in the house, painting, replacing the carpet and repairing all the wear and tear. We managed to put the house on the market at the end of July 2020 and on the first day we received a cash offer at full price.
We were lucky, despite the work we invested, but my ex and I give each other credit and say that we made the right choice for the sale when we did it, when the stock was low.
After the sale, in which we ended up with a profit, I negotiated (through my divorce lawyer) a settlement that amounted to the vast majority of the profits from the sale of the house. I kept some money in the liquid and used it to move expenses. With the rest I have invested in a medium risk portfolio where they will be able to grow and serve as safety net.
As for where I lived after I got rid of the marital home, here comes the privilege: I got help from a father who bought a house in my children’s school district. Now I rent from him, instead of from the landlord. The house is smaller and less updated, but I adore it.
Revenues and accounts
My now ex-husband is a dentist and returned to the office in May 2020. Prior to the divorce, I was a primary caregiver while working part-time. My husband hired me in his dental office as a marketing and social media manager, and I also worked part-time as a drama professor.
Dental surgeries regularly paid for divorce. And of course, theater is still not happening, so I had to creatively approach new forms of income. I had liquid money from selling our house, but I wanted to be proactive.
So I started teaching. It all started with one student in my dorm, along with my daughter during distance learning. As I shared custody of the children, suddenly there were days and nights when I wasn’t a parent – and that’s when I did most of my work.
I disguised myself and met clients who teach on porches or through Zoom. I wrote a curriculum for an educational startup and started writing for a company of friends, Wondergrade, an app for kids and parents that teaches mindfulness skills. I accelerated my “throwing game” and started writing more free articles.
Knowing that I had a tampon for a few months while I was organizing helped me jump. But I also reduced my monthly expenses because I don’t feed a family of four every day.
Under my divorce contract, I am responsible for 25% of the children’s expenses (we decided that this ratio reflects the income differences between my ex-husband and me). My “children’s expenses” decreased, especially because the pandemic kept us at home and out of extracurricular activities for a year. Divorce also meant that I lost the burden of my ex student loans and other debts. Although divorce is never easy, in the end I felt more stable and in control of my finances.
Of course, other costs have also increased, such as your own health insurance. And mine taxes were in the mess of the W-2 and 1099s. But overall, from 2020, I came out with some regular customers and a steady stream of revenue. My income, along with my spouses and child support, paid my bills, gave me enough for some necessary home purchases, like a new stove, as well as a little entertainment space, like a new bed and a trip after the vaccine to a friend. .
I follow my consumption closely and I have details Google Spreadsheet for my budget, as well as one for “baby expenses,” so my ex can reimburse us according to our arrangement.
My future
I had a pension through his previous teaching job he explained that I could have switched to a traditional IRA. When the house was sold, I put part of the profits into the Roth IRA. Finally, through a divorce settlement, my former transferred part of his pension fund to my traditional IRA.
Consolidating retirement accounts wasn’t overly complicated when I sat down and took care of it. The most important part of that process was to make sure I had the “right kind” of pension account to have a turnaround that didn’t penalize me. I asked for help from a friend who works in finance.
When rolling over funds or opening a new retirement account, read all the papers carefully to avoid benefits and don’t be afraid to ask for the advice of a trusted professional.
What life is like today
Becoming a single mother and head of the household during a pandemic was not particularly fun or easy. Some of my biggest fears have come true, and my whole family life has changed literally overnight.
I learned to seek help, both in terms of tangible help and in the form of advice. My friends and family have been giving me wanted and unwanted advice on everything from ant brand brands to credit cards had the best rewards.
I had to choose which advice to advise and I often sought multiple professional sources, but throughout the process I was grateful to the people in my life – smart, capable adults who helped me realize that I could manage my finances and my future on my own.
Editorial note: The opinions, analyzes, reviews or recommendations expressed in this article are the opinions of the Select editorial staff only and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise approved by any third party.
